laughter is the best medicine
by poptart pill popper
Summary: Wrigley is a 19 year old college drop out waiting for something to happen in life. kidnapped by Gotham's most notorious criminal and sought after by the cities billionaire, you could say some things are starting to happen love triangle JokerxOC BrucexOC
1. tabloids and grape soda

**Note to Zoey Poison, Starlit insanity and blindwithabloodstainedkimono all of your fanfics have inspired me to make my own starring the joker of course**

**Wish me luck!**

**I do not own Batman or the joker I only own my OC character and any other unrecognized name.**

I never liked coffee. Too bitter. Too hot, it made me shutter when I had little completely necessary sips to stay awake. For me, instead of coffee, my pick-me-up was gum. Strictly Bubble gum not stupid sugar free flavorless sticks of nothing that shrink in your mouth. I mean big square chunks of sugary fruity flavor that could be blown up to the size of your kidney. The stupid thing about this was that I worked at star bucks that only sell sugar free gum (if any) and coffee. My shift ended in ten minutes and I would have to handle maybe 5 more costumer.

"Hi and welcome to starbucks" I sighed.

"yeah whatever, I want a medium mocha latte in a large cup a sprinkle of cinnamon and sugar free whip cream got all of that? Or are you too slow to keep up?" the worst part about this was that rather then the stereo typical grouchy coffee hooked woman at the counter, it was a man. What an ass.

Oh god. Bye job. "ah-ha-ha, fuck you, give me one good reason why I shouldn't kick your ass right here and now?" I cracked a knuckle and smirked, I wanted to so bad I hope he provoked me fast enough so I didn't back out of my poorly thought out plan.

"easy" he snorted "your managers right behind you"

I felt a huge warm hand on my shoulder and was gently lead to the back room. 20 minutes later and a lot of screaming, I was fired. I shrugged it off. The 3rd job in 5 months I got fired from freaking out on someone. I couldn't stand rude people. I untied my apron and removed my green visor setting it down on the table beside me and strolled out. A few bystanders still at their tables were watching me whispering lightly to each other. The asshole guy was sitting at a one person table with his stupid little "i-want-to-be-seen-writing-in-public-otherwise-its-pointless" laptop set up in front of him. Sipping his perfect down to the last detail coffee order and tap tap tapping away until he noticed me which he then smugly and as not discreetly as possible laughed at the absence of my uniform. On my way out I tipped his table over.

I figured I should pick up some gum on my way home seeing as how I had gotten the remainder of my paycheck when I was fired, I could use it for food and other essentials but I planned on working somewhere like a diner as my next odd-job so I could eat at work and buy more gum. Gotham city's street stores were everywhere but without a car my favorite convenient store was 10 blocks away and I walked. I didn't like walking around in Gotham, which is surprising seeing as how I walked everywhere, mostly because I passed by so many mirrors and glass and was constantly reminded of how much I looked like my parents. My dads blackish brown hair, pin straight and useless, my mothers lime green eyes. Its no wonder I had always gotten grief from relatives at get-togethers and my parents funeral that I reminded them so much of my folks. It used to annoy the hell out of my, but now it just haunts my everyday life.

When I arrived at the "stopnsave" Simon was at the counter. I didn't know him as a friend but I came in enough to pick up on people's names. I headed straight for the candy section picking up at least ten packets of grape flavored big league chews, the whole little box of Bubblicious sour berry and the carton of original flavored bubbleyum. The one thing people at the "stopnsave" knew about me was that I was a big gum chewer, so when I set down my load onto the counter to have it rung up, there was no out of the ordinary look from the cashier at my purchase. The bell above the door of the store rang and I didn't bother looking over to see who had entered, the man was about halfway done with scanning my items so I just checked the front page of some random tabloid on the magazine rack near me the headline reading in bold print "**JOKER STRIKES AGAIN AND STILL ON LOOSE" **a picture of the war painted criminals face was stretched across the page with tinier wording beside it "jokers past is revealed?" "jokers new gang" and my current favorite "joker a woman?".

Simon finished up and dumped the boxes gum into a bag "your total is twenty-six ninety" he stopped short and his facial expression was flooded with pure horror and for a moment I thought he was looking at me.

"ninety two" a voice from behind me finished for him reading off the little green numbers on the cash register screen. I turned and was speechless to see the man currently residing on the tabloids front page. The joker, with his red smile puddles of black for eyes and a white background facing me. He let out a raspy laugh revealing yellow teeth eventually slowing to a giggle and spoke "well hello _beautiful_" he snickered. I tried desperately to find my lungs and breathe air before passing out. But you could probably guess its fairly hard when Gotham's most notorious criminal is standing before you. Without realizing it, his arm was around my waist and we had moved forward to the cashier to make his purchase. With the jokers free hand he clunked a six pack of grape soda onto the counter and hooked his knife into the handles of my bag and presented it to me. I took it with shaking hands and he let out another raspy laugh directed at me. "I'd

like this" he pointed to the soda "this" he set down the tabloid with him on the

front "and this" he picked me up and sat me down on the counter. Simon gulped looking from me to him to me again. All I could do was mouth "help me" but of course the Joker spoke up before Simon could do anything at all. "hmmmmm cant seem to find a price tag on her" he tugged at the collar of my shirt and let out an excited giggle. Whatever he had read made him happy. "Oh GREAT!" he exclaimed "a sale, I am such a penny pincher" he doubled over at his own joke then straightened up when no one else joined him. His glare rested on Simon still frozen "could we make this quick? I have places to be"

When Simon still didn't move, the joker simply took the items and started walking toward the door. I hadn't realized I was being dragged with him until I fell down. He laughed again and looked down at me. I hopped up and backed away.

"Time to go sweetheart" he giggled as I pressed myself against the frosty glass doors of the drink shelves.

"No" I managed to respond sliding further away from him.

"hmmmmm" he said thinking hard and set down his soda stepping toward me knife still in hand. "That's not a good idea"

I continued to back away and he continued forward "Your. Coming. With. Me." He said slowly like I spoke a different language and was too stupid to understand his intentions. I looked to Simon who was quietly as possible trying to load a gun. Joker laughed and turned around to see what I was look at and promptly shot him with a hand gun that had appeared out of the pocket of his suit pocket.

I gasped as the sight of gushing blood and Simons crumbling body. My white face went greenish and I sunk to the floor.

"now that wont do" he giggled and heaved me up and over his shoulder. I hadn't realized that he had to be at least six feet tall until I noticed how far away the linoleum floor was. The speckles and scuffs of the tile was the last thing I could remember before everything going black.


	2. a new room

**K so I know that this seems pretty stereo-typical for a a jokerxOC fanfic but I hope this chappy with shake it up a bit eh idk I jus don't want it to suck lol.**

I woke in a cold sweat and for one glorious moment I couldn't remember a thing. Then the flashbacks of Simon, the Joker, stopnsave and gum clouded everything as I shut my eyes and let it all comeback to me. Finally I opened them again realizing my hands were bound together. With a few awkward movements I sat up. Everything was dark, I could feel heavy comforters pressing down on my legs as I waited to see if my eyes were going to adjust to the dark, and of course they didn't. I sat there, wide awake too afraid to move and with my luck trip over soothing and break my arms and legs so I just waited. And waited. And waited. The only thing my eyes did register was the thin line of light coming from across the room. It had to be the doorway to wherever I was. I lost track of time but when I saw a figure standing in front of the doorway I laid back and shut my eyes pretending to be asleep so whoever stood outside my door wouldn't disturb me. Yeah right. I could hear the Jokers tangy voice on the other side. And the muffled replies of the henchman.

"Is she still asleep?" he asked whoever was keeping watch.

"Yeah I think so, she hasn't made any sounds other then the occasional shout but I checked in on her and she was just talking in her sleep."

"You checked in on her?" the Joker questioned sounding very calm as far as I could tell.

"Yeah you know just to make sure she wasn't trying to escape or anything no big" I loud gun shot rang out in the middle of his sentence. I opened one eye and the door swung open to reveal the dead hench man with a pool of crimson liquid forming around him and the Joker stepping over his body casually "its not polite to watch a lady while she sleeps" and laughed, hard. "hello beautiful" he said to me for the second time. By then I had closed my eye again and could only hear him approach my bed. I was shaken awake gruffly by two warm hands. I just opened my eyes instead of stirring.

"So you were awake! I'm so pleased. But you are quiet gorgeous while you sleep that's for sure" and the raspy laugh again.

"Where am I" I demanded. Where had this inner confidence come from?

"home suh-weet home" he responded and strolled over to the wall and flicked on a light. I was in a bed that was placed in the very center of a room; the walls painted eggplant purple and black carpeting. But the fact that the bed was the only thing in the room frightened me, well, the bed and two other doors. "why did you bring me here" I asked more timidly this time.

"Because I like you" he said simply "because you're strange, like me"

"I'm not anything like you. I'm not strange." I countered trying to stand but then was suddenly joined in bed by the Joker who had dove over me and laid down face up on my left side.

I glared at him and this made him laugh "you" he tried to hold his giggles and started again "you don't think you're strange?".

"no I do not think I'm strange or anything like you" I spat.

"I'm not the one buying 30 packs of gum at once" he burst into laughter again and I looked away in annoyance. He was very much like a child.

"Hey" he snapped sitting up next to me and taking my chin into his hands "look at me" he growled and I glared directly into his dark charcoal eyes. "you're here because I like you, and I get the things that I like, I like guns and gasoline and dynamite so I have them" he snickered "and I like you. so now your mine." He pulled out his switch blade and held it to my mouth "you ever wonder where I got these scars?" I held back tears knowing that this was his trademark way of killing off the most unfortunate of victims. "crying wont do" he sighed and let go of my face. I looked down to my bound hands.

"hurt?" he asked

"yes" I replied quietly.

He took the knife and cut through the ropes. "you smell gross by the way" he said once the bounds were cut. "of course you've been asleep for a day and a half and you must've been sweating the whole time."

"Can I take a shower?" I asked slowly.

"That's your bathroom" he pointed his knife at one of the doors. "There are plenty of towels and makeup in there and that's your closet, I got you clothes, aren't I sweet?" he laughed and I got up flexing my wrists. "I'll be here, I promise" he said giggling at the third glare toward him that hour. I walked cautiously toward my bathroom entered and locked the door behind me looking around. It was all purple (no surprise) purple towels and walls the sink was lime green along with every other tile on the checker black floor. I approached the shower and turned it on full blast. I looked into the mirror and saw a grimy smudged make-up and miserable looking version of me staring back. I stripped, checked the water and stepped in after adjusting the temperature to be a bit cooler. I stood, letting the water roll over my body then grabbed the floral shampoo lathering it into my hair then rinsing it out, then conditioner, while I waited for it to soak in I used a body scrub soaked loofa and rubbed the dirtiness off my body. Then ridding my hair of the conditioner I turned off the water and stepped out. I brushed through my hair rubbed my eyes and swathed myself in a thick fluffy towel. Then when I couldn't hear anything on the outside of the door and thought maybe that the joker was asleep, I unlocked it and slipped out. He wasn't on the bed. But now it was neatly made. I walked over to the closet to get dressed before he came back I opened the door and looked for the light somewhere along the wall when it suddenly switched on, I turned and screamed with the jokers face _right there._ I screamed. And he broke out into a fit of giggles.

"the wait was worth it sweetheart it took you forever to finish that shower" he held his sides laughing so hard I thought he might pass out from not taking a single breath yet, right when my hope actually started to build, he took in a sharp breath and wiped his eyes.

"I need to get dressed, get out" I growled at him, his giggling stopped but kept a steady grin on his face.

"I made you an outfit!" he exclaimed excitedly. "right here" he set a warm hand on my back and led me forward to a mannequin in the back of the closet of course the mannequins head had been made up like the joker. Wide red smile and black circles for eyes, but admittedly the outfit was…good.

A black pleated mini skirt, lime green and black corset and a pair of black and purple striped knee highs tucked into a pair of size seven skater shoes.

"isn't it amazing? I tried making the girl version of my attire I think I did quite well don't you?"

I didn't respond simply looking back to him "I have to get dressed" I spoke darkly "you have to leave"

"not with that attitude I wont" he broke into a fit of giggles "you have to say please"

"fine" I huffed. "will you please leave so I can get changed?" I tried sugar coating my words so they sounded more sweet but to me it just felt wrong.

"that's more like it" he said smiling, sporting his yellow stained teeth "but im still not leaving"

"HEY!" I was getting pissed now.

"calm down princess, I've got a screen set up for you" he pointed to a Japanese paper screen which I stomped over to with the mannequin under my arm , I didn't care when its head fell off. I stripped it down and took about five minutes getting all the way dressed wishing that there was a mirror somewhere to see how I looked. Finally I stepped out from behind it and stood before him who was now sitting on the floor looking up at me.

"stunning" he said snickered and stood up. I was back to being half a foot shorter then him. Oh well. "you'll look great at our next scene of the crime"

"where are we going?" I had the nerve to ask

"out" he said with a teasing laugh and led me back to my room "go put on your makeup" he said

I just glared at him darkly. I was honestly offended.

"Don't give me that look I'm just saying I found you with a lot of eyeliner and lip stuff on I figured you'd feel uncomfortable without it on"

God damnit he was completely right, I felt so bare without it on I hurried to my bathroom and opened the mirror. Fully stocked with eyeliner, foundation, lipstick, lip gloss, mascara, cover up, blush, eye shadow and cold cream in case I wanted any of those things off. I took the black eyeliner and applied a little on top then purple on the bottom I rubbed a lime color onto my eyelids then swiped on grape lip gloss and that was about all I needed. The Joker appeared in the doorway. A raspy laugh escaped his smile "lets go"


	3. escapes and rescues

**Right so I said I would shake it up in that last chapter and of course, I didn't. Sorry people but I was just really focused on explaining their relationship clearly. Anywho this one'll be better I promise.**

I didn't remember The joker giving me a purple trench coat and a hand gun but suddenly without realizing it, I was in a van. Some goon sat in the front driving, me and him in the back.

"gorgeous" he smiled fairly evilly.

"What?" I snapped back at him.

"I was just making a statement" he said holding up his hands as if to show his innocence but there was a pretty little butterfly knife in his right hand that said otherwise "but if you want me to be addressing you then ahem" he cleared his throat "I want you to wear this" he crawled over to my side of the van and plopped a black with pinstrip's fedora onto my head I noticed the lime green ribbon and bow and laughed. He cared enough to give a feminine touch.

"Would you look. At. That." He chuckled "and here I was beginning to think that you couldn't laugh, like you had some sort of fatal illness that prevented you from smiling but there it is." He cupped my face in his hand "beautiful"

I looked away regardless of how afraid I was of his knife.

"Honey" he said upset by me averting my eyes "I" he licked his lips "you see I don't really think that you being this 'I'm going to hate this guy forever cuz the news says he's a murderer' type of girl suits you. You should smile more, like me."

I didn't say anything back I just stared at my knees hoping the van would stop soon.

"So what's your name anyway?" he set his head onto my knees forcing me too look directly at him.

"Wrigley" I muttered and held my elbows.

He broke into a fit of giggles. Hee ha ho hee hee ha ha ha

"What!?" I snapped at him, I was getting tired of his little inside joke games where he laughed at everything I said like it had some sort of background story that made it so great.

"That" he started but giggled again "that explains the gum"

I rolled my eyes. What a child. The Van made an abrupt stop and He looked to the driver with a glare. "After you beautiful" he motioned to the door for me to get out first, another clown was waiting on the outside to help me step out without falling. He didn't actually help much, more of just stood there as I got out too awkward or afraid to touch me because I was "jokers girl" as I had heard them refer to me back at wherever it is we came from. I wandered around a bit trying to figure out where we were, why we were there and who we were with. (I have to stop saying "we" it feels like I'm WITH them uhgggg) Another beige van similar to the one I had just arrived in pulled up and six or seven clowns similar to the one that drove came pouring out holding guns, grenades and all sporting similar trademark clown masks.

"Who's the girl?" one of them addressed the joker. Guess he hadn't heard of me yet.

"she's the new 'it' girl around here" he looked over to me in response and the rest of them copied "**she** is Bruce Wayne's squeeze"

That's what boggled me. I was a lower class college drop out with no family and no job how the **hell** was I of all people, the famous Bruce Wayne's squeeze? Like he would care if I was shot, we've never met, he doesn't know my name, there's no relationship between me and him what is the Joker talking about.

" I can see why" a clown said "she is pretty damn" POW POW POW a short trail of shots beat into his chest and he dropped dead.

"Now this is going to be simple" the joker had his clowns huddle up with him. He hadn't noticed that I was on the out side did he? They continued to murmur about his plot to do whatever, I was slowly backing away. Can I get away? Is it this easy? I stepped further and further from the small crowd of goons and their leader. I was behind the Vans now and out of their peripheral vision so if they noticed I was gone now they might run the other way looking for me. I edged further and further away praying to god that they wouldn't notice me gone until I had an actual chance of getting away. I adjusted from edging to walking. Quickly. I was about thirty yards away when I heard them first realize I was gone.

"Where is she!?" one of them had said, I couldn't tell if it was a goon or joker because they were all shouting now. "Did you see her leave?!" another shouted frantically "I TOLD YOU TO WATCH HER!" that had to be the Joker, I could clearly hear the distinct quirky edge to his voice above others.

Oh god. I was sprinting now. Turning the corner of the alley we were in and onto a street, I looked up at the closest shop "stopnsave" I knew exactly where I was now. But where do I go from here, how do you hide from the Joker? The police station, it was around 10 blocks away, if I ran, I could be there in around 13 minutes. But the Joker had vans and guns if he wanted to he could just shoot me down or grab me right in with him and then of course he would be pissed off and I would probably die. So my options were to run and hide at the safest and closest place, police station. I took off down the street getting the strangest looks from people. Looks that said "Who is this freak girl and why is she running like crazy?" I wanted to stop and explain it to them but I didn't have time not to mention what if that wasn't what they were thinking, how crazy would I seem then? I stifled a laugh but then realized how insane I had to be if I was laughing while running for my life. My raspy breath was making my pace as I continued forward. Sooner then I imagined, I was there. It was hard to believe that they hadn't found me yet but I didn't have time to pinch myself. I jogged up the steps and swung open the door into the air conditioned safe haven. I headed straight to closest desk, gasping, out of breath, probably looking like hell.

"I" took in a shuttery breath and wiped my mouth "I was kidnapped by the joker and just escaped" I managed to explain and collapsed into a gasping heap, the woman came rushing around to me.

"Are you okay? What's your name?" she looked up to some other police officer "Get Gordon right now!" she shouted and he ran off in search for whoever Gordon was

"I" I breathed heavy with my head between my legs "I have to" I looked up at her after several tries of lifting my head "I have to" and slumped over. My head knocking onto the floor was the last thing I could remember before inky blackness enveloping me.

I woke up to a peacock blue room in a lush green bed and a gold vanity over near the wall. This was the second time I had woken up in a completely unfamiliar room with no idea what had happened and who was here with me. I rubbed my head gently and sat up. My hands weren't tied, that's progress. I looked around and found a tiny digital clock on a bedside stand. 8:24, judging by the sun, it was midday when I had escaped from the joker but for all I knew it could have been 8:24 the next day and I hadn't really escaped at all. At least the was a light this time, a tall lamp post stood on the other side of the bed emitting light over the entire room.

One of the three doors in the room opened up. I held my breath praying to god it wasn't the Joker again, but who reveals themselves but the one and only Bruce Wayne.


	4. It's a date

**Pretty good I think but I don't want a swelled head so flame it up if you feel you should lol other then that ummmmm**

_**All of your answers will be **__**revealed**_

I couldn't breath. His perfect smile, charming voice and stunning eyes had captivated my lungs and enabled them from functioning.

"Hi there sleepy head" he smiled lightly approaching, and sitting down lightly at the foot of my bed. I smiled back and discreetly pinched my arm. This was as real as it got. "How are you feeling? Knocking your head like that couldn't be fun, not to mention you being a captive of Gotham's most notorious criminal, god knows what you've been through."

I managed to nod enough for him to continue.

"But you're safe now, I promise." He stood up and stepped forward, closer to me "My name is Bruce Wayne nice to meet you" he held out his hand I and I shook it as firmly as possible, but I was feeling weak so firm was more just keeping a hold on him.

"Wrigley Shift" I managed to say without getting my voice caught up in my throat again.

"Well Wrigley, I'm only guessing that your hungry and Alfred has prepared a steak dinner just for you, eat it all or he'll just feed it to the hounds" a light chuckle escaped his lips and I smiled. Something about being with a billionaire made a person feel safe. If anything went wrong with this guy, there's no way Batman could ignore HIS cries for help. He started toward the door he entered from when I finally spoke up

"Wait! Where am I?" I inquired

"Wayne Manors west wing, the dining room is north, head on up whenever you feel well enough."

I nodded and he left. I looked around again and carefully got up searching for the dark wood floor. I realized I was in pajamas and felt so out of place I looked into the first door. Bathroom. The second was a closet I explored for a few minutes and selected a ruffley teal mini dress, pink fishnet leggings, a matching pair of pink fingerless fishnet gloves, and big thick white knee high socks. I looked crazy but loved the outfit overall. I walked back out into my room and opened the door. Bathroom again damnit! I opened the other door and was brought to a long hallway heading as north as possible following my nose to a delicious smelling sizzling steak scent until I came to a huge dining hall.

"Hello?" I called out.

A friendly looking man appeared from another door carrying a tray with steak, salad, rice and some sort of light soup. "Evening Ms. Shift" he set the tray down at the head of a table and motioned me forward "My name is Alfred Pennyworth ((Look it up bitches that's his real last name! whoo!)) And feel free to ask me for anything you desire while your residing in Wayne manor"

"Thank you Alfred" I smiled graciously and dug in. The steak was perfect, not over seasoned or under, buttery and juicy, the rice had some sort of seasoning on it that made it impossible to stop eating until it was gone, the salad was crisp and the soup finished the meal quiet well, rounding it out and filling me up just right. I set down my spoon and breathed deeply. I was ready for more sleep. I didn't know when Alfred came in but my tray was gone before I noticed and I didn't get the chance to thank him.

"Alfred!" I called just before he disappeared behind another door.

"Yes mam'e?" he turned looking back to me

"Thank you for the meal, it was delicious" I sighed and rubbed my belly to show my enthusiasm.

"Your welcome" he smiled and disappeared.

From there I got up and decided to wander around a bit before heading off to bed again, I started sliding down the polished hallways on my soft socks and made a record of 20 feet before running smack into Bruce. Oh god.

"Holy shhh" I help back my tongue so I didn't look rude or sleazy in front of him "Oh god I am soooooooo sorry are you okay? Are you hurt? Do you need help up? Let me help you up" I stood as quickly as possible but slipped on the socks again and landed about as ungraciously as possible on my ass.

He just laughed and stood reaching a hand down which I took and was lifted up with ease. I realized he was in flannel pajamas with a button up shirt; it was weird seeing him so casual when I had only seen him in a suit or tux on the pages of magazines out with some Russian model or European actress.

"Umm are you okay?" I asked quietly avoiding eye contact.

"I'm fine" he laughed genuinely then slowed to a smile "Are you okay?"

"Hmm? Oh yea just fine, running directly into Gotham's most eligible bachelor/ billionaire, I'd say it's been a pretty good day"

He laughed again "It's okay" he leaned close to my ear "My records 40 feet, can you beat it?"

"No problem" I said and took off down a slippery hallway sliding at least 30 feet before crashing to the floor in a laughing fit. He came a few moments later and dropped to his knees successfully making me similar to a penguin and him to some sort of model/ice skater.

"I win" he smiled and we both got up. "So, do you want a tour?" he held out his arm for me to take.

"Why yes I would" I said and took it with a grin.

I had never thought a place could be so big but after seeing the kitchen, library, billiards room, den, office, foyer, sun room, living room, wine cellar, 3 guest rooms (not including mine) and finally the master bedroom, I started believing it was possible.

"So what do you think of my humble abode?" he said leading me through hallways.

"Its nice, but, why are you letting me stay here in the first place?" I asked almost frightened that if I seemed ungrateful he would kick me out.

"I checked your record when I heard about you in the police station, it said you had distant relatives across the world and both of your parents had died when you were 12, I guess I just had a soft spot for someone who has gone through most of the things I have." He went quiet and looked rather grim.

"Yeah" was all I could say. We were silent for a while then I spoke up with the quiet actually seemed to start getting loud.

"So, what do you do for fun around here anyway?" I smiled when he did.

"Billionaires aren't supposed to have time for fun but I manage, I go out to eat I ride my Ducati ((okay im not sure if that's his real motorcycle but I always imagined him speeding around on a sexy little Italian bike so deal with it lol)) all the regular things people do with their free time"

"Except, you go out to dinner at places you own and own a hell of a lot more then just a motorcycle."

"That's true" he sighed "But I'd rather be seen as a regular person then this super rich stud who throws his money around… even though I kind'ov do" he laughed lightly and led me back to my room.

"Well thank you" I started "For everything, but really, I'll be out of here when ever you want, I have an apartment." I parted from his arm and opened my bedroom door.

"You can't leave until after tomorrow night, if you end up leaving at all that is" he flashed a toothy smile and leaned up against the wall next to me.

"What happens tomorrow?" I raised an eyebrow at him with a grin.

"You, Me, Date. Circus. Good?"

"Aren't I a little bit young for you? I mean what are you 28?" I giggled as he mocked being offended.

"25 thank you and according to your file, tomorrow is your birthday so you'll be 20" ((I really have no idea how old Bruce Wayne really is but lets just pretend I'm right.))

"Oh my god your kidding? Is it already July 23rd?" I gasped completely blown away that I had forgotten my own birthday.

"That's right, so it's a date then, right?"

I eased into my room slightly so I could breathe before passing out. They weren't kidding about his intoxicating charm. "Yeah" I managed "It's a date."


	5. birthday

**URRRRG so yea, basically if ur wondering, in my opinion, Wrigley is a unisex name so those of u who didn't get it, Wrigley is a girl. I REPEAT WRIGLEY IS A GIRL! Lol anywho so ummm yea that's about it, review review review!**

I woke up screaming. Joker had infiltrated my dreams and all I could see was laughing clowns and myself screaming for dear life as if I was in 3rd person point of view watching it all of from above. But now I was awake, thank god, and sitting up in bed, the bay window on the wall opposite of the wall with two doors, showed milky warm light pouring through. So it was morning. At least. A moment later Bruce came bursting through a door.

"Are you alright I could hear you from across the house!" he exclaimed in question, eyes darting around the room in search for some sort of intruder or out of place tell-tale object that could be the explanation of my outburst the could be heard a fourth of a mile from where sat. Nothing was Actually wrong.

"I'm fine, just a bad dream don't worry" I explained with a light chuckle "Just a nightmare"

"About the joker" he stated rather then asked. Damn he was good.

"Um yeah I guess being with him will screw with ya, I can't seem to get him out of my head." I looked down at my hands and instead of my slender pale fingers and arms I could envision purple sleeves, one hand with a glove and the other hand dirty, grimy and gripping tightly on a pocket knife. Good god what was wrong with me?

"What was it about? If you don't mind me asking that is" He sat at the foot of my bed like he had the day before.

"A fun house. A sick twisted fun house with one of those Plexiglas and mirror maze, you ever been in one of those? Yea well it went on forever and I was trying to get through it while avoiding the joker at the same time, and he just kept laughing cuz he knew exactly how to get through it, like he had a map or something and kept corning me but then I finally get through it and then were in the hall of mirrors and he's everywhere like you see in movies where then step into it just right and their reflected on every one? And he just keeps laughed so hard and I finally find a mirror that reflects me and it shows him behind me just standing there with his smile and when I screamed he laughed more and I woke up." I shuttered, it was so creepy watching the whole thing go down _from above_ I had this twisted feeling in my gut that I was narrating it, thinking it up myself. Technically I was but it just felt wrong.

"I've dealt with him a couple of times" he sighed and nodded like he completely understood.

"Really? When?"

"He's crashed my parties a couple of times, you know, average joker things"

It was my turn to nod.

"I'm just afraid that he'll try and kidnap me again and I won't be able to defend myself, I figure a kick in the shin or a punch would give me enough time but I wish I knew how to fi-" he stopped me mid sentence.

"Don't fight back don't kick or punch or anything" he sounded distantly sad but I couldn't understand why.

"He likes pain, he laughs about it and not to mention, he likes girls with 'fight" in them"

Chills trailed down my spine like a thousand spiders exploding from my neck. It was so…_Eerie_. Bruce seemed to see my shutter and nodded "Just wait for batman if anything like that happens, I promise he'll show" and then he winked. What the hell does that even mean? Does he have a personal pager to him or something?

"Happy birthday by he way" he smiled and stood. "I'm going to treat you, what do you want to do today?"

I sat for a moment, with a green light like that, where do you start? Hmmmmm amusement park? No. Circus? No we were doing that later for our date. Oh shit that's right. "What about our date?" I asked

"We're still going, but that's personal rather then celebratory" He explained and I shrugged going back to brain storming.

Beach? hmmmmm bikini's, swimming, tanning (more like burning in my case) yea beach sounds good. "How about the beach?" I offered.

"Sure" He approached the door "I'll tell Alfred to get the yacht out, could you meet me in the foyer in about 30 minutes?"

"Yeah sure but um…bathing suit?" I asked timidly.

"All in your closet" pointed at another door "See you in 30" and left.

I got up out of bed shuffling around a little and opened the door to the bathroom. Everything was shiny and polished I checked under then sink and 3 sets of widely different shampoos and conditioners stood. I choose Herbal essence ((whichever one is for straight hair I forgot the name)) and headed to the shower setting them on the silver rack and starting up the water, I stripped and hopped in, the water was perfect. Lather, rinse, repeat, later, sit, shave, rinse, done. I hummed myself through the shower thinking of one of my favorite JUSTICE ((its my number one band okay? Lol)) songs DVNO and stepped out after another good minute of just sitting in steam. I toweled off and slipped into a pair of fluffy white slippers by the door of bathroom then padded over to the closet I clicked on the light from the outside still weary of being surprised by a certain forever laughing kidnapper. After peaking in a couple of times I felt safe enough to leaf through the bathing suits in the back. There was a mannequin near them which intrigued me because it looked so much like the one the joker had, it wasn't farfetched that he had stole the same type Bruce Wayne happened to have lying around in one of his guest room closets. But back to business. What could work with pale skin? A skimpy black monokini appeared between an orange one piece and a purple bikini, but unfortunately it was out of the question, bad experiences proved I looked like an anorexic Shamu when I wore black as a swimsuit. I held a little stop sigh red number up in from if me in the mirror. It was in consideration, next a navy blue two piece with board shirts, but I looked like a bruise. Ehg. Green made me look sick, I tried the red again and figured it made me look paler, white made me look naked, pink looked like pepto bismal. I finally came across a strapless light purple beaded one piece and it looked good. Damn it. I tore it off the rack and tried it on. Somehow it looked better with me on the inside. That never happens! I sat down o the floor still wrapped in a towel. Purple just felt so wrong at this point but the other options were red which really did look bad in comparison and no swimsuit at all. Freaking purple. Puuuuuuuurple damn it. I sighed heavily and slipped it on checking all over for some sort of flaw that I could use as an excuse to wear the red, but nothing. It was perfect all over. After applying water proof mascara, eyeliner and mousse cream eyeshadow in a golden brown color, I tugged on a pair of slightly flaring skinny jeans to sheath my pale legs until it was absolutely necessary to reveal them and a black t-shirt that said "Don't be trashy, recycle" in rainbow letters. It was a cute laid back look I finished off with flip flops. I felt ready enough. At the last moment I turned and hurried back into the closet grabbing a tube of pink lip gloss, a rainbow of jelly bracelets and stuffed them onto my wrist.

Of course I felt belittled standing next to Bruce Wayne regardless if he wore a t-shirt and jeans equivalent to my own. He still had the polished gorgeous look of a celebrity while I had the grungy dark appeal of a nobody.

"Ready?" he smiled sweetly down at me. Like the joker he had to be at least half a foot taller then me.

"As I'll ever be" I shrugged and followed him outside. A sleek bright yellow mustang convertible purred waiting obediently for him I hopped into the passenger's side and we took off toward the docks. A short 20 minute ride of light chatting and we arrived, his Yacht, like his car, was waiting for him when we arrived.

"After you" he helped me onto the boat and followed, Alfred was manning the controls as we lay out on the deck with thick fluffy towels. Revealing my bathing suit was nerve wracking but eased up when he assured me I looked amazing (thankfully a word I hadn't heard the joker say yet otherwise it would have creeped me out to no end) and hopped into the water. I followed after him diving in gracefully (Thank you public beaches and living in an apartment 3 blocks away). We sat on the deck, talking and genuinely listening to each other for hours on end, before I knew it, it was time to go.

"Really?" I pouted "We have to leave now? Its been so great"

"Swimming has been great but I know one things for sure, we do not want to miss the opening act for the Gotham circus."


	6. Grand finale

**Yeaaaaaaaaaaaa so I was brainstorming how to make my fanfic better during math today not much came up other then maybe introducing 2 face into the equation not the Harvey dent two face but the old one…fist one…BETTER one lol so if u think I should put em in lemme kno**

The Gotham circus was dark. Bruce and I in our top bleacher seats sat patiently waiting for the show to start. Me in a stunning blue black cocktail dress. Bruce in a tux looking amazing and polished to perfection. We waited. Then suddenly a beam of light fell on the ring leader.

"Ladies and Gentlemen" he started "Good evening and welcome to a spectacular, death defying, unbelievable showing of Gotham's greatest performers!" the crowd screamed and cheered and I clapped lightly smiling. "We will be starting today's performance with our family of trapeze artists! The Flying Strongholds!"

A father a mother a son and two daughters where illuminated from beams of light, they all at different corners of the ring readying to swing and waving to the crowed. They started their act. Beautiful. Gliding, turning, moving, flipping gracefully through they air like it was natural as breathing for them.

I sighed in aw leaning forward setting my elbows on my knees and tilting my head to the side just to stare.

Bruce joined me leaning forward "like it?" he asked glancing over to me with a playful knowing grin.

"love it" I assured and returned my attention back to the family. Their grand final was the two sisters flipping forward once then backward twice while their father did a double front flip into a swing bar then catching both of them with each arm. The mother and son swung did three back flips and landed on opposite bars. They trusted in their families grip so much so, it was amazing to see such a close knit family. I couldn't imagine them having any secrets from each other. They all grouped onto a single platform, bowed and smiled and the lights went down.

The audience cheered and screamed, I clapped politely not to seem ruthless or loud in front of Bruce who like me, was nodding and clapping graciously.

Beams of light shone on the next set of performers, 4 or 5 clowns skipped into the ring doing random violent acts on each other, slapping up side the head with a fish or using an 8 by 4 down on their head, they shoved pies in their faces, tripped each other, juggled, rode unicycles, danced, pretended to yodel, and countless other, pointlessly stupid acts just for laughs from the children of the crowd, and believe me, they ate it up. Screaming and shrieking with joy at the stupid little pranks they pulled on one another, of course all sensible adults would remain relatively silent while watching the act, they were the only ones who seemed conscious of the Joker on the streets ruining the classic humor of the performers. But parents really didn't seem to matter, as long as their kids liked it, the clowns still kept their jobs.

I was glad when it was over. A large cage was wheeled into the ring next revealing a growling snapping roaring lion on the inside, a buff looking man climbed his way in as the ring leader announced from the side "And now, Lionel the magnificent will show the great art of lion taming with only the safety of a single chair provided as a shield.

The man certainly knew what he was doing, the lion swiped at his midsection but he stood firm, shouting unrecognizable words slowly calming the lion until it sat perfectly still in the corner. From there he moved forward, closer and closer with his hand outstretched to meet the lions head, slowly, slowly, almost to him. He stopped, letting his palm hover over the lions forehead then confidently patting its head like it was a good little house dog. Stroking down the neck and scratching behind the ears the lion rubbed into his side like an affection house cat eager for more pets. Applause, even though we all knew the lion was trained before and probably would never harm you unless aggravated purposefully, it was still fun seeing a man supposedly "risk his life" just for the sake of entertainment. I clapped lightly again. He was carted out and the ring went dark for the fourth time. I smiled expecting another round of the spectacular show to be just as breath taking as the last (not including the clowns) I watched as spotlights followed two black and white mimes dance their way in, reacting to the others movements, they played an imaginary game of tug-a-war, then pretended to what seemed like sumo wrestle invisible opponents. The crowd chuckled at their silliness, I saw mimes as adult clowns somehow still making us laugh even though they weren't much more sophisticated then the clowns other adults tsked their children for liking so much.

The lights went dark. That's strange, they must have been mid act, must be some sort of suspense build up or something along those lines. I looked to Bruce, him looking back just as thrown off. We looked back to the still darken ring, someone had screamed and the spot light suddenly shone on a trapeze platform. The Joker, freshly face painted and giggling stood with the youngest daughter of the strongholds with a knife under her chin and a microphone at his mouth using his other arm.

"Ladies and gentle-man" He beamed "I am the grand finale for tonight's show" the girl managed to scream again but the knife only dug deeper. The crowd could only watch in horror it seemed. I was frozen. "My act is simple really and very _interactive _with the crowd, now pretty soon here, batsy's gonna come swooping in to save the day, now all I need is the audience to help me save my beautiful assistants life, reveal his identity and she's free, all according to plan and you get a won-der-ful story to tell to all of your ritzy friends and you'll be the life of any party, batsy shows and keeps his mask and wellllll you'll still get a story it'll just more appropriate at this little ladies, funeral" he turned the girl around a few times "Is the camera getting this?" he asked laughing "I want them to catch my good side, sweetheart" he looked down at his hostage "is their anything in my teeth? I'd hate to be embarrassed" she screamed trying to wriggle her way free as joker just blinked slowly and moved his head slowly away from her mouth.

I was terrified, for the girl and for batman, would everyone do it? Would they betray their hero to save the girls life? I looked over at Bruce but he was gone and that puzzled me. Must've ran for it which made some-what of a sucky impression on a first date. Would I betray batman? He'd never actually saved me specifically before which didn't necessarily mean I owed him anything, but then again neither did the girl.

"Oh" the joker grinned "and by the way, all of the exits have been blocked"

I glanced around from my seat and noticed he was right, little joker minions stood obediently at the doors wielding guns and bombs just waiting for someone to cross them so they could shoot and rile up the crowd. I didn't move. I sat very still and focused on not blacking out. I wonder if The joker knew I was here. It would be kind'ov weird if he did seeing as how he would have had to be following me around to know for sure. And if he was following me, why not just kidnap me and skip all of the drama? Because he liked it. Because it would be boring other wise. I just watched as he spoke to the girl, not the slightest bit audible over the shouting of the audience. He checked his watch a few times and looked up and around waiting for batman to come swooping in really soon. But nothing happened, nothing the he or I noticed at least. And then there was a sound. Louder then anything else, a loud tearing ripping sound from above, everyone seemed to look up and there. He. Was. Batman all glorious and dark, diving to the ground but landing easily on his feet.

"Now would be the time, people" Joker spoke sloppily into the mike. Everyone had froze. Not moving one inch, you could hear the sirens from outside. "hmmmmm what a shame" he sighed "You" he licked his lips and you could hear it through the speakers "You know,Madness is just like gravity… all you need is a little push" and with that he spun her around so she faced him and he shoved her off the platform into empty space, looking down at her from above "there she goes" he cackled.

She screamed the whole way down and all of our eyes remained on her like it was an act, like we paid for THIS kind of entertainment Batman ran forward of course to catch her, but then the lights went out and screams were heard. Everyone pushing and running wildly to find their way out in pitch blackness. All of the lights then came back on and the joker was gone but one mime lay dead in the middle of the ring, stretched red lips and black eyes. Damn that was fast. A paper, push pinned into his chest, from what I could see.((lets say she had moved closer now)) Thankfully, batman had caught the girl who was only a little traumatized and some slight neck wounds, nothing serious. The ring master stumbled his way the mime as frightened as all of us looking down at the note with a microphone. Did they just have an unlimited supply or something? He knelt down over the mimes chest to afraid to remove the note from his torso.

"Thanks for playing with me tonight you've been a great audience" he read with a quivering voice "see you all around, I'll be out and about picking up some groceries, gasoline, dynamite, and some gum" he paused because the last this didn't make head or tails to him. I understood perfectly. "happy birthday ha ha hee ho ha hee hee ha ha ho ha" he read off the laugh's regardless of sounding stupid.

For what seemed like the millionth time id met the joker, I couldn't breath. He was going o get me again, he knew where I was and was going to get me. Oh dear god.

"Wrigley" I cringed, was it him already? Turning slowly around I only realized it it was Bruce, my shoulders relaxed but my anger flared slightly "Where were you?" I demanded.

"I was checking on performers seeing if the rest of them were okay" he replied simply as if I was implying something entirely improbable.

"Not seeing if you could take an exit?" I growled.

"Of course not" now he looked offended and I looked down knowing it was ridiculous of accusing him of such a think-for-yourself action.

"Sorry" I grimaced and he walked me down the rest of the stairs. After being questioned by a few police officers we were free to go, Alfred was waiting patiently by the car and I got in shivering. It was cold out. He slid in on the other side.

"Miss anything interesting sir?" Alfred asked from the front seat. "You have no idea" Bruce laughed lightly in response and I joined him. I knew I wasn't safe, but getting away with me head this time around had to count for something.

"Why do you think he did that to a mime instead of a clown?" Bruce wondered out loud "Clowns are pretty much his thing right"

"Yeah, but I guess mimes are more fresh canvas, white face to make the exact impression of his look" I shrugged. Bruce nodded at my input. I hadn't realized how much of what I said would make sense until I had said it. It made me feel creepy like I was on the jokers side, in his mind.

"Happy birthday" he whispered into my ear. I hadn't realized he had scooted closer until now.

"Thank you" I looked up at him, loosing myself in his dark smoky eyes. His lips descended on mine and lessened my vision turning the rest of the night into a blur.


	7. fund raiser

**Oh god im soo sooo sorry for not updating, my main computer just quite of itself so im on my moms laptop so sorrrrrrrryyyyy but I'll get more up after thi one a lot soner I promise!**

**Love the support and critisizm or however you spell it.**

_Ahead of the curve. I'm just ahead of the curve. I'm an agent of chaos and you know the thing about chaos, its fear. A giant black and white checker board…and across from me? The joker of course sitting on top of his purple black and green throne with that smug little grin permanently plastered onto his face. His eyes soften to a deeply pleased gaze._

_"Marry me."_

I woke in a cold sweat and thought back to what had happened the night before, I remember kissing and groping and Bruce Wayne but not much else. God why do I suck with remembering shit?I guess I ended up having sex with Bruce, I mean he's in bed next to me, I can't imagine any other reason for that. His soft eyes fluttered open to meet mine

"Good morning" he sighed so content with himself like he had accomplished some terribly difficult feat. Oh yeah, we did it.

"good morning" I responded smiling and settled myself next to him, he draped an arm around me then let his hands glide along my curves, it sent chills directly to my spine and back again.

"so what do you want to do today?" he gazed at me as if in a trance.

"I don't know, what do you have to do? Your Bruce Wayne don't you throw parties every other day?" I laughed softly with a raspy and sleep ridden voice.

"Ah yeah, I have this fund raiser to throw tonight" he sighed and looked at the ceiling with what must have been disdain. Did he not like the social scene?

"Oh, so there's that, what is it for?"

"Commissioner Gordon is trying to raise money for higher security in county jail so I figured I'd help out"

I nodded. He's such a sweetheart.

"Its formal so let's get you a dress today" he sat up and had no shirt on. Somewhere between and greek god and one of those male models for glasses you see in hour eyes or something, regal and untouchable but toned sexy and you want to do more than just touch him.

"Oh kay" I managed without stuttering.

We had a fruit salad breakfast then got ready to leave in separate rooms. Jeans, Uggs, Brown cardigan over light blue cami, yea this'll work. I jogged to the front foyer and headed out with him looking polished and glamorous as always. We hopped into his sleek silver little lambo that took off underneath us in a jolt of speed that startled me into a little squeak, He just laughed sweetly and returned his attention to the road, we passed by a gas station and I shouted pull over just in time for his to screech into the tiny little gas pump station.

"Can I get some gum?" I asked him right off the bat.

He chuckled and handed me a crisp twenty from his pocket

"I'll explain in a second, be right back!" I got out and hurried into the store grabbing 6 packs of grape flavored big league chew and then a few original bubblicious. Yeah, that'll be enough. I took my gum to the register and had it rung up in a few moments the bell above the door chimed and I reacted quickly to see who had come in. Not the Joker just a normal person doing normal person things and certainly not conspiring to kill Simon and kidnap me back by the grape soda. I hurried back to the car and slid in to meet the curious gaze of Wayne.

"Why all the…gum?" he asked slowly looking in the bag to see my daily fix of sugary chewiness.

"It's kind of like my version of coffee, but instead of chugging, I chew and instead of caffine, just a ton of sugar" I shrugged not expecting him to get it.

"right, can I have a big league chew?" he seemed unfazed like he had dealt with stranger things, for all I knew, he had.

"Sure" I tossed him a packet then was careful not the shove whole thing in my mouth, I took pinch by pinch of shredded gum to seem a little less piggish.

We arrived at a store called "Chic". It looked really nice from the outside and I found myself wondering how it was Bruce knew about this girly little store, _Because its not like I'm the first girl he's dated _I thought to myself and quickly rolled my eyes, I could be so stupid I wonder how he even puts up with me.

After an hour or so of dress shopping, we both ended up loving the same sexy black dress, number 23 out of our whopping 67 dress run through. Its floor length but no straps so it was a little scandalous and risky to be wearing to one of Bruce Wayne's high class fund raisers but he had assured me that I would draw the gaze of everyone in the room but in the best of ways, so I went with it. Getting back to the manor I put it on again after a shower and full makeup redo, little touches of smoky eye shadow and eye liner then a swipe or two of cloudy pink lip gloss, I looked hawt. We arrived to Wayne's party by helicopter one of his many attention stealing entrances, the crowds of colorful and intimidating socialites turned to us as we strode in together. _Head up, shoulders back, stomach in, smile graciously, don't be stupid, your on the arm of Bruce Wayne, your invincible. _I could hear quiet voices asking each other if anyone knew who the gorgeous woman with Bruce was and couldn't help but giggle. Woman, hahaha.

"Who is that?"

"I don't know but shes to Bruce's liking"

"My god look at her dress, Versace?"

"I can tell but its beautiful, why have I never seen her before?"

"I think shes the one Bruce took in after being kidnapped by the Joker"

"The poor girl"

"The _lucky _girl, just look where she is now"

Bruce leaned into my ear after the crowd turned its attention back to itself "I have to make a quick speech will you wait for me over there?" He nodded over near the ice swan on the practically untouched buffet table.

I smiled and strolled over, picking up a bubbling glass of champagne from a tray on the way over, he had called the attention to the room and a small circle had formed around him, I could barely make out the top of his head if I stood on the tippy toes of my already three inch stiletto heels, there are some pretty damn tall socialites in Gotham I guess. He was saying something about the current status of county jail and how we could help batman by keeping criminals behind the bars he put them when I felt a hand over my mouth and a warm breath in my ear.

"Scream and you die" the tangy voice murmured and dragged me backwards, I looked frantically around at others hoping they would somehow sense my distress and look behind them ,but no, Bruce's fantastic speech giving skills kept them distracted until I was pulled around a corner and into some sort of broom closet. No lights, just sounds.

"Hello beautiful" the voice giggled with this euphoric tone the screamed pure joy. Oh god. "I thought I wouldn't find you but thanks to the live feed of Brucies little fund raiser and that grand entrance he pulled, I knew exactly where to go"

I whimpered under his tight grip over my mouth and contemplated what I could accomplish by biting his hand, a two second moment of shock where he _might_ let go but there's no promises, and then what? I get carved up like every other one of his victims… and I bet he tastes terrible.

"Oh shh shh shh shh shh" he stroked the side of my face as if to comfort me "I'm not going to hurt you, oh no. No. Nooo. No your just too interesting to waste." There was two knocks on the the closet door and then another one after a pause, it cracked open and a Joker goon stood there in all of his awkward loudness.

"Um, boss, uh well the guy, Wayne, he um, he noticed the girl is gone…should I come back later?" he looked between me and the Joker as if he rudely interrupted an intimate moment between us. _He has his hand over my mouth and a knife to my throat you fucking moron! Does it _look_ like we've been getting hot and heavy!?_ I wanted to scream at him the nail him in the crotch but the joker beat me to it by lazily trailing a few bullets into his chest. He whispered to me again and I could smell traces of some sort of sweet food mixed with champagne on his breath "and here we go" he shot in the air again and revealed himself to the party, at first I was just thinking he would be taken down in like a minute its just him but then of course like 20 goons show up behind him in a matter of seconds. Like the sound of bullets was their beeper or something.

"Good evening ladies and gentle-man" He called out happily releasing his hand from my mouth to keep a semi-automatic at his side. I searched the crowd for Bruce but he was gone. _What the fuck_.

"Bruce? Bruce Wayne? Brucie!?" he shouted at the crowd still maintaining his knife at the exact point on my neck while stepping forward.

"Joker" A grumbly voice was heard from behind us, I tried to glance behind me at who was there but was suddenly jerked around with him to see Batman in all his glory standing there defiantly.

"Oh there _YOU _are batty, I'm not here for you, I'm here for her if you could please mind your own business." He must have been glaring darkly at him because Batman was most defiantly returning the favor, the knife pressed tighter on my neck and I held my breath. Not like this, please god not like this.

"Give me the girl" Batman said in his infamously rough tone. God that must kill him in the morning RIIIIICOLA!! I couldn't help but snicker to myself to which The Joker responded brightly.

"She's just fine right here, look she's laughing at you… she just doesn't want to saved, get that through your head and the whole dispute will be done with a lot sooner"

"No!" I tried to explain but only succeeded in sound completely retarded "I was laughing at Ricola, not you, I mean your voice needs help err um…help me please" I could feel a cackle from the jokers chest reach his mouth in a long string of "Ha hee ha ha ho ha's".

Batman dove at me, or him, whoever, I remember the sting of a blade ant then falling to the floor, when I stood up, some woman was looking at me completely horrified…I don't look that bad do I? I mean I guess she could be grossed out by the fight going on behind me, but then, why is my neck warm? I lifted my hands gently to the wet spot and felt blood dripping into my palms oh god I'm bleed. Oh god it's a lot. Whoa , floors moving. Ceilings gone, I need to sit down, or fall, fall would be preferred. I felt myself tilting over and about to hit the ground when two arms caught me and roughly lifted me over his shoulder. Batman…no, I know these shoulders. The Joker.


	8. kiss

**Last chapter was CRAP-TASTIC!!! I know lol but this ones gonna be better I promise okay so just bare with me.**

No no no no no no no no I refuse to be kidnapped over the shoulders AGAIN. I figured Batman is a little busy duking it out with all those joker wanna-be goons so I'm just going to have to save _myself._

"LET ME GO!" I kicked and screamed flailing around in his grip and for once was pretty thankful that my dress is floor length and wouldn't be giving anyone behind me a show. "I said LET GO!" and tried prying at his hand but couldn't get a good enough grip.

He chuckled below me and skipped his way to the elevator. Fuck fuck fuck, if I went in there I would never get away. _Bite him _was my first instinct, but where? Well his neck is awful close but isn't that a little vampire-ish? Oh fuck it, he's kidnapping me! I twisted my body towards him and for a second it must of looked like was going to kiss him because he was startled and then sort of pleased, I dove passed his face and reached the side of his neck opposite to where he held me and bit. Hard. Until I tasted his salty metallic-y blood uhg gross, but it worked. He tilted toward the side I bit and let me go, I landed on my side on the floor in front of him and thought maybe I had actually paralyzed him for a second because he just had this look of pure shock, and then he reached up to his neck and felt the bite mark. Maybe he would die from blood loss, his eyes met mine for a long minute and I thought he might start screaming or shoot me but he started laughing, he started to fucking _cackle_. I glared at him and blew my hair out of my face when he was doubled over with his raspy chuckles. Then he looked like he was going to slump forward but just danced closer to me haphazardly and brought his face real close to me, that sweet and champagne-y breath again.

"I never thought you were so, uh, _kinky_" he snickered with pure elation and lifted me up again. God this guy is some sort of invincible masochist. "You've gotta little fight in you, I _like _that" he pressed the elevator button down and hummed an unrecognizable tune as we stepped inside the tiny cubicle. Wait didn't Bruce warn me about this? Shit he did, he totally did and I just urg! I just gave him all the more reason to like me, or at least I think I did.

We arrived in the lobby of the building and I saw the guy behind the desk had a bullet wound in his forehead. He hopped outside, or at least it felt like he hopped out side I was so jostled by him walking I really couldn't tell. There were a few beige van's pulled up in front of the place and the one that was half up on the curb was the one I was tossed into. I thought he was going to drive but he followed me in and sat on the opposite side of me in the vacant quiet space. I've been _here_ before. He was feeling his neck again and I could see each individual bite mark and the blood that ran from it if he hit the light in the right way, he giggled and looked up at me like I was laughing with him. His attention snapped to MY neck and he crawled over to me and lifted his gloved hand to my neck, thankfully the hand that wasn't already smeared with his own blood.

"Oh" he smiled at the long line of redness that stretched across my neck. "I hope it-ah scars" he remarked happily and I rolled my eyes.

"You are a child" I spoke coldly.

He broke out in a fit of laughter "And you aren't?" he challenged and crawled even closer "You, Wrigley, the girl who drops out of college and works odd jobs to survive, YOU" he paused "You" He tried again "Your so above everyone because you think you know what your doing because you've already admit to yourself that you won't get anywhere in life" he licked his lips like he was really getting into it "You, Wrigley, are a quiter"

"And what does that make you" I responded dryly.

"That makes me ahead of the curve" he grinned smugly like he had beaten me somehow "I create chaos so those of you who have _quit_ will have something to think about something to decide, I don't kill people, I give them a chance"

"Explain the goon you killed earlier" I growled, darkly.

"He was stupid, he joined me and that was his choice and his risk ,if he-ah wasn't so loud he might have survived"

"How does that fit in with your philosophy?"

"If he had used his chance the right way he would know not to _interrupt _you and I" he giggled and must have been thinking back to the moment.

"You act like something was happening between us" I looked away from his onyx eyes to hide my slight blush.

He crawled even **closer**, maybe an inch or so between us "We were _bonding_" he was slowly breaking the inch barrier between us and I thought he was going to kiss me "Us, together, in a dark closet, I was _holding you_ and you were _moaning for me_" his lips brushed mine when he spoke and the he forced his lips on mine, I looked around frantically like there was someone to help me. But no, it was just me, and him, in a van, outside Bruce Wayne's place, just me, and him, kissing in the dark. His wet tongue slithered into my mouth and mingled with my own, I tried to squirm away but he pressed my shoulders against the van wall to hold me still. Fuck. I wriggled around under his grip but he only held me tighter, oh yeah, I will defiantly be developing bruises. He finally backed away after a good long while of something like, one way making out. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand while he leaned back onto his palms with a satisfied grin. He brought his face close to mine again and I did something I never would actually do at any other time, I punched him square in the gut. He doubled over and began laughing again like he always does, but then he had a knife and it was in my mouth tugging at a corner. Oh god.

"I" he started and licked his lips "I'm really tired of your fighting back act" he tugged at the knife threateningly "do it again and you" he paused and licked his lips again "you will regret it." The knife was gone and he was all smiles . That's weird, I really thought that he was this extreme masochist that loved pain, or maybe it was just hurting his feelings. Hurting his feelings HA! I started laughing, quietly at first but then gradually belting it out and holding my sides. I finished in little giggles and looked up at him, he sat there with his hands dangling between his knee's in a childish pose, the happiest smile I'd ever seen on his face.

"What?" I asked curiously

"You have the most beautiful laugh" he sighed dreamily and I wanted to gag, something about The Joker and getting all touchy feely just didn't settle right on the stomach.

I honestly hadn't REALLY noticed that we weren't moving until a skinny little henchman hurried into the driver seat and revved the engine, another big fat one hopped into the passenger side and we took off.

"How did it go?" Joker asked with this almost sarcastic voice.

"Everyone else is gone" said the skinny one in a nasally voice, god if he has a normal life on the side it must be tough picking up chicks.

"Take us home" The Joker said and sat back.

Home, I thought to myself, Where is home? Not with him and not with Bruce and not my apartment, home is with people you love, I guess I don't have a home anymore. I spent a good 2 minutes in a staring fight with the Joker, he won. Damn it. Another ten minutes later we arrived "home" and I was dragged out into a familiar ware-house looking scene and was pulled upstairs without a word.

"Hungry?" he called back at me.

"no" I muttered, even though I was.

He spun around took two steps down but was still a step and a foot taller than me and hooked an arm around my waist lifting me off the ground really easy "Come-ah now" he seemed to breath in my scent like it was a drug and right on cue my stomach growled angrily at me or maybe him for squeezing it, ha ha. "You're starving" he declared and released me. We went upstairs into what had to be his room, there's a fridge in the corner and a microwave on the floor next to it, he tossed me onto the thick purple duvet of his bed and stumbled into his dark closet, I thought maybe he was changing but he only came back with a black oxford button up and purple boxers, he tossed them at me. "Go change, I'll make dinner." I looked around for a moment then decided the bathroom was the safest place to remove clothes without his peeping eyes. Strip off dress, put in hamper, put on boxers, put on shirt, one button, two buttons, three buttons, four buttons, leave fifth one unbuttoned because its uncomfortable otherwise, wash face (eww I've got Joker lip marks on me)and neck, dry off, come out of the bathroom.

He was sitting on his bed no shoes, but socks, he was in pajamas, oh my god The Joker has pajamas, he's so freaking normal sometimes. He had a little stack of pop-tarts on a paper plate that had to have been refrigerated because there's no other place to keep them and then a six pack of grape soda. So nutritional. I sat on the floor rather than next to him and reached for a sugar coated pastry but he caught my wrist and held it tightly.

"Sit with me" he commanded, my stomach growled and encouraged my forward, I perched on the edge of the bed of the other side of the plate from him and reached for one again when he released me. He didn't eat but he watched me with an amused gaze. He cracked open a grape soda and handed it to me, I chased the strawberry flavoring down with the equally artificial tasting drink and breathed deeply to catch my breath, then went for another pop-tart, I got one bite into it when I paused for a thought.

"Did you do anything to these?" I asked setting it down.

He laughed all raspy and happy "Do you think I would tell you?"

"So then you did?" I glared at him.

"Actually no I didn't do anything other than microwave them, but you would love that wouldn't you beautiful? Me drugging you then having my _way_ with you" he giggled at the prospect of it and I rolled my eyes deciding ignoring the little comment.

"You WOULD love that!" he exclaimed when I said nothing like being silent was the same as a yes in his mind.

"No" I growled at him as best as I could without blushing.

"Oh really" he challenged and then I was pinned, he held down my arms and was straddled over me hovering there to look at me giggling.

"Get off of me" I spoke louder than before.

"No, you have to fight back, prove to me that you don't want me having my way with you by getting my off of you" he pushed his dingy green hair back but it didn't do much more then temporarily allow me to see his eyes, and then it fell back in his face.

I squirmed around but that was stupid because obviously it wasn't going to help. _Knee him in the fucking groin!_ I screamed at myself and went with it, it would defiantly prove a point, lift up leg, aim, bam. He rolled off me laughing.

"Should have seen that coming" he said in a weak voice. I backed away from him and pressed myself against his egg plant colored walls, he's gonna get me for that one. He looked over at me "Come here" he said with a little hand motion, I inched closer. When I knelt down next to him to see what he wanted he quick a flash took my head and forced it closer to his, we were kissing again, god why is he suddenly so somewhat public display of affection-y? he released me and gazed deeply into my blue eyes for a minute.

"Your perfect" was all that he said, then he up and left, gave me complete (or at least I think complete) privacy to sleep, so I did.


End file.
